Comments on: We Didn’t Invite You…You’re Just Too Busy

By: Deborah Gardner One Heart Bulgaria

Deborah Gardner One Heart Bulgaria — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 21:34:16 +0000

Lisa, sounds like you and I both need “once-in-a-while” friends who don’t mind just getting together here and there. As for the rest of you, sounds like you are doing fine with meeting up with your friends at parks or during exercising or just gabbing with people in your neighborhood. Makes me think that I DO need to get out more and that I am quite the hermit.

Today I had a major freek-out breakdown/outburst with my 5 year old (by the way, I am pregnant with our 5th)when she was giving me a hard time. This was an over-the-top freek-out and I know it had more to do with my stress levels and lack of “breaks” than what my daughter was actually doing. So pacing ourselves and creating social time is a definite need for us moms–along with some tranquilizers too, eh LOL? Oh, and a massage wouldn’t hurt either!

By: Lisa R

Lisa R — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 13:16:27 +0000

What a great post. So true is so many ways (as I recognize I’m way behind in my blog reading). I’m definitely invited to less things now because I always busy when they did ask. As a single Mom too, I find that between my kids and the business, it’s even harder to have a social life. I literally go through phases when I schedule social time in my life because I feel the void. But as soon as another major item with work needs to happen, that schedule time gets lost and buried until I make it a priority again (which really should happen sooner). I really like your phrasing Deborah of declining but showing how much you’d like to be able to.

I need a boot camp type friend. Who won’t accept no for an answer and makes me get out, lol.

By: startupprincess

startupprincess — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:48:32 +0000

Fairy Godmother Erika, I’m with you on the “short & easy” events, I like the idea of exercising with friends…I’ll be running my first 10k and have a few friends who say they are going to train with me, but no such luck yet…we’ll see. Maybe after your baby comes I’ll try an tri-athalon (now THATS a BIG dream) with YOU!

By: Erika Wilde

Erika Wilde — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:40:18 +0000

Many of my friends don’t understand exactly HOW time consuming running a business is for me. I get invited to go to IKEA with friends and all I can think about is how many hours it will take. Or lunch dates in Orem that take 50 minutes of driving plus another hour for eating…

I keep a polite “excuse list” handy for those no-can-do’s.

What works for me is to be sure to show up when the event is close by, shorter and easy to duck-out-of. Like lunch at a friends house in the neighborhood. Or play date next door. Show up for the easy stuff, and I can get away with missing the half-day events.

Also, I’m a huge believer in exercising with friends. I get fresh air outside (which I HAVE to do everyday!), get to blab for an hour, and get my exercise all in one concise, multi-tasked hour of bliss!

By: startupprincess

startupprincess — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 04:58:41 +0000

SUP Deb-Hi there, great comments and I think you are wise about your approach with your friends and family. We’re all learning and I think there are friends/acquaintances/family that are more interested than others about what we do, so being aware where they are coming from is key.

SUP Jamie-great to see your comment and yes! Take time off on the weekends..I always take Friday night and Sundays off. Smart, we all need R&R.

By: Jamie Bird

Jamie Bird — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 04:21:14 +0000

This might sound simple, but I never work Saturday night. No mail deadline the next day– so every Saturday I take off. It is fun to have that one day a week to spend entirely with friends and family. I look forward to it, and it is nice to not be busy for a night and just relax.

By: Deborah Gardner One Heart Bulgaria

Deborah Gardner One Heart Bulgaria — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 22:09:39 +0000

I realized something with several of my friends and even family members…they get kind of tired of hearing about our businesses (or non-profits, or projects, or whatever). It sometimes repels them and makes them feel inferior. I think we should let THEM bring it up, or only share the most exciting things every so often so they don’t get sick of hearing about stuff so regularly.

Also, if we can’t get together with a friend because we are “too busy” perhaps we should just not mention WHY we are busy. Instead of saying: “Oh, I’m sorry I can’t go to the park with you guys, I’ve got so many phone calls to make and inventory to go through, and as it is I don’t have enough time,” we could say something like: “I would LOVE to go with you guys, but I can’t make it today. Can I plan on going with you next week, I’ve really been wanting to go? Thanks for calling me and asking.”

Another thing that has dawned on me is that we don’t have to talk about all the things we do and how busy we are for the sake of sounding important, intelligent, or like a “go-getter,” or like we are so innovative (sp?) and exceptional or for the sake of promoting what we are working on. I mean we all are all of those things (LOL) but do we want others to feel less about themselves when they are around us? NO! They have their talents and amazing qualities too.

But I do miss hanging out with other moms, getting invited to little social things, and the simple life in general.