The Balance Marathon

Tanya Boyer, publisher of Rocky Mountain Running & Triathlon Magazine writes the following:

Balance is defined as a state of equilibrium.  An individual living a balanced life must, therefore, give the equal and necessary attention to all facets of life, while keeping everyone happy.

Honestly, does anyone really live in that state?  Is there a declared winner who has found the balance marathon finish line?  If so, I must immediately meet this person and get personal coaching.  Most people I know, myself included, are still frantically searching for the secret to balance.

Through experience I’ve concluded that the balance marathon is about managing chaos and stress, just as a running marathon is about managing the knee-pounding stress and exhaustion of 26.2 miles.  Finding your place at the race starting line is only the first step, followed by pace management, nutrition regulation, and spectator support.  99% of us won’t ever win the race, but if we pace it right, we can be happy, even exhilarated, with our effort.

Understand Your Pace Ability, Don’t Follow the Pack

Let me touch briefly on pace management and leave nutrition regulation and spectator support for another time.  The big problem so many busy women face is the abundance of good things and good opportunities that call for our attention.  Rarely do we have to make decisions about a bad event in our schedule.  However, women who can’t eliminate some of life’s good events and opportunities, but try to keep up with the pack, are running too fast a pace and will eventually burn-out.  The road to burn-out is definitely not balance.

Take a look at a recent few days in my life as an example.  Some events included:

• Family wedding
• Multiple and urgent magazine deadlines
• 2 television segments
• Pack family for a weekend apart – a business trip for myself, a fathers and sons overnight for my husband and 2 boys, and a 2-night sleepover for my daughter at grandma’s house
• Interview and photo shoot with a running club in Las Vegas
• Oversight of gardening class (thankfully I have a very reliable committee)
• Piano recitals
• Religious organization presidency meetings and lessons
• Ice skating dress rehearsals and performance
• Days of sales visits
• Lunch dates with colleagues
• Several late nights working and getting up 5 hours later to get in a workout

Morning piano practice with the kids, carpools, volunteering at the elementary school, homework, laundry, dance lessons, emails, and the myriad of other daily duties continued.

Would you consider any of the above a bad option?  No, me neither.  But would you consider me balanced?  I definitely don’t.  While it may seem I have a variety of events consuming my time, I am certainly not giving the necessary attention all facets of my life. Perhaps I am running too fast.

Set, or Slow, the Pace

To help identify which opportunities you should weed out, and slow down your pace, you must identify your personal priorities.  Ask yourself, “If my life had to revolve around only 1 or 2 things, what would they be?”

The process of identifying priorities can be difficult.  For the majority of women out there, I’d bet our answers would fall into these general categories:  children, spouse, religion, fitness, work, hobbies, extended family, friends, organization, beauty.  Your ability to slow down your pace and avoid burnout depends crucially on your own self-awareness of what really matters to you.

Family was listed as my top priority, and I usually find that my race of life is always better when I have first given my family their needed attention.  I can move on to the next demand, or mile of the race, without doubt and second-guessing.  So much attention to my family may shrink the quantity of opportunities I see and slow my race pace, but it certainly ups the quality and efficiency of each mile.

If I dropped the kids off at school in a mad rush, it’s a bad and guilty feeling that hangs over my head for the rest of the day.  It’s almost like saying to myself during a race, “I should have run mile one and two a little slower so I don’t wear out.”  This mental game could have a negative effect later in the race.

Giving appropriate attention to the top one or two priorities in your life doesn’t mean all other opportunities should be neglected.  While fitness wasn’t one of my top two priorities, it is still very important to me and helps me perform better in all areas of life.  And, after all, I do work in the running and triathlon industry.  It just means that, for me, I only workout in the early mornings or at other times when my husband is home with the children.  It means that a work deadline will come before a 5-mile run, and it means that a school event will push back or eliminate a planned group bike ride.

Finish the Race

The balance marathon can be discouraging if you measure progress on an outward scale of weights and balances.  I suggest that equilibrium is not giving equal attention to all facets of life, rather finding an inner peace with your life priorities and your own race pace and performance.  Your marathon doesn’t need to be pretty, you just need to be able to finish.

Tanya Boyer is the publisher of Rocky Mountain Running & Triathlon Magazine.  Her main job, however, is that of mommy to three young children and wife to the most patient man in the world.  Running and triathlon are her way of staying young and mobile. Rocky Mountain Running & Triathlon Magazine is an information source for runners and triathletes in the Mountain States.  To subscribe for home or office delivery, visit www.rockymtnrunning.com and enter the coupon code PRINCESS.