Love Local: An Extra-Special Message for Anyone Trying to Save the World

Hello, my name is Danielle and I’m a recovering Savior of the World. I used to think that my self-worth depended on my vegetarianism, my activism, futurism, my pro-this and anti-that. Had halo, would preach. Had ‘isms, would teach.

I still wrestle with issues of spheres of influence (like one might wrestle a greased boa constrictor while wearing a bikini – with great difficulty), but my circle of devotion has gotten decidedly more focused, or at least more proportioned. My a-ha on this came like a bolt of lighting, at a swanky event, in which I cried an ugly cry that I’ll never forget.

I was at a weekend retreat in the Catsklills for thinkers thinking global-size thoughts. We fancied ourselves as change agents. And we were. The group of us was made up of economists, UN officials, socially responsible CEOs, media personalities, and bonafide spiritual leaders. Conversations were deeply meaningful and our love for our individual and shared causes cohered into a whole lotta serious inspiration. One of the afternoons was allotted for individual silent time and we were encouraged to reflect in solitude and then reconvene.

I spent some of my time in a dilapidated tree house in the woods. I journaled. I laid on the grass and cloud-watched. I thought about my “causes” and how much I poured into saving the world from all the things I thought it needed to be saved from. And my thoughts brought me home. Literally.

A few weeks before, my man and I got engaged. I was deep into thought about what commitment to a life together meant. The enormity of it, the sweetness of it, the terror of it….I thought of all that was required to be poured into it. And something in me cracked open that overcast day: I realized that most of my love was being poured outward, not homeward. It felt more noble to help people in far off countries and in future generations than it did to – simply – love the one I was with and love him well – the way he deserved to be loved.

We reconvened, sat in our fancy chairs in a circle, preparing to discuss our world- enhancing thoughts that had surfaced in our silent solitude. I wasn’t aware of it for a few moments, but I was crying.

(Now, before I go any further with this story, it’s essential that I tell you that I’m not a public crier. I don’t even really like groups. I’ve done too many group workshops and those moments when sister gets up and bawls her eyes out about family of origin stuff or mister breaks down about his mean mother… well, I appreciate it. I feel deep compassion. Sometimes I admire those group-shared collapses. But I don’t do it. My snot-gobbing heaving cries are sacred and best had in my bathtub or day bed. Except on this day, in front of the dignitaries and laureates.)

The facilitator noticed me quietly whimpering. “Danielle, clearly you’re moved. Would you like to share?” People were looking concerned and then I started to feel concerned because I noticed that I was really crying, like, my body was crying for me and there was no stopping it. For some reason, I grabbed the mic and I let ‘er rip: “I, I, I just realized…” I was sobbing now, “I’ve been so fixated on the global, that, that, that… I’ve missed the love in my own home. I’ve, you know… I’ve missed the…the center of my circle.” People nodded. I don’t know if they related or thought I was pathetic. The silence was deafening.

And then I blew my nose and whimpered, “We can move on now.” It was gross. And so we did. We talked about the layers of service and devotion and where we chose to put our energies. It was awkward and then beautiful and then powerful.

Everyone was really uncomfortably nice to me after that. I felt like they’d all seen my underpants, and I wasn’t wearing any.

Am I happy that I slobbered all over my white shirt and blew my cover as a cool cucumber in front of those agents of change? Nope, not really. I’m just not that ego-less and evolved. I could have done without the high-exposure blubber fest. But it happened. And it put the world crises into perspective for me. And I went home. And for probably the first time, I was really home when I got there.

Danielle is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, a motivational speaker, CBC TV commentator, and lead author of Style Statement. She helps entrepreneurs rock their career with her signature Fire Starter Sessions. You can find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte.

Defining What to Stop, What to Start, and What’s Possible for 2010

This month on Startup Princess we’re focusing on PLANNING: How to Plan EVERYTHING, so you’re equipped to Make LOTS of Wishes and Make them Happen in 2010. Watch for lots of posts in our Startup & Grow and Life Balance categories on the subject. Here’s my personal strategy for how I define what to stop, what to start, and what’s possible. Read more

Have You Wondered About Someone’s Dreams?

Our dreams and desires define us. Be they broken, scarcely remembered, on the verge of reality, or in full bloom. They pilot our choices. Dreams have the power to shape Read more

How to Give Compliments, World Peace, and the Warm Fuzzies

I want to start a Compliment Revolution. There are a few revolutions I’d like to ignite, actually, but this one is super easy. If you’re with me {go ahead, shout it now, “I’m with you!”,} I think we could change the world this very week. So I’m declaring this the week of Global of Compliments. Someone call Hallmark and the Nobel Peace Prize committee. Read more

My 8 Emphatic Suggestions for Rocking Your Business RIGHT NOW

I’ve worked with dozens of Fire Starter clients on career optimizing, transitioning, start ups, reinventions, product ideas, social media strategies and balancing it all without burning it out. {And I adore each and everyone of you. I’m thinking about you all right this minute and smiling hugely, because it takes kahunas to show up in the world and sell your soul with integrity, and to turn love into fat cash and ideas into fulfillment. Keep on moving.}

I’ve been hammering on the same concepts with lots of folks. I am known to hammer. I’m clear that I am not a coach – I’m an adviser, so I can get away with being passionately opinionated.

MY 8 EMPHATIC SUGGESTIONS FOR ROCKING YOUR BUSINESS:

1. ONE STOP WEB SPACE: SIMPLIFY AND LEVERAGE
Stop thinking of your site and your blog as separate things. Just stop it right this instant. There needs to be a paradigm shift whereby entrepreneurs create ONE on-line space for themselves that includes the “brochure ware” that is the critical function of sites, and regularly updated, juicy, and informative content, aka, a blog. Having a site with a “BLOG” button that pushes users out to a totally different space (usually not even reflecting the aesthetic brand of your primary website,) is like having one clothing store that just sells pants, and sending your customer down the street to your “other” store to buy a shirt. Keep your customers under one umbrella so that they can explore and utilize your universe.

Create a seamless one-stop portal of all that you do so you are capturing the various interests of your visitors in one fell swoop: to read inspiring stuff, to buy a product, to hire you as a speaker or for a service you provide. The more they know, the better. If you architect it with logic and simplicity, you can accomplish a lot in one space. Having a separate blog usually screams “after thought.”

Repeat: If you have more than one on-line space that is essentially talking about what you do or sell – collapse it all into one. This also helps with search engine optimization and ranking. And erase the word “blog” from your consciousness. Think in terms of regular, engaging content that you can deliver.

2. GIVE UP IMMEDIATELY
Stop doing what’s not working. It will feel amazing. It will free up energy to leverage the stuff that has the truest, greatest potential.

3. THERE IS POWER IN BEING SOLO
If there is no “we” to your company – if YOU are it, then just say so. People are hiring you. You don’t hear me saying “We at White Hot Truth…” Of course, if you need copy writers, or web designers, finance people, I’ve got a crew I’m always referring to, but, me is me, not we.

4. TALK TO ME: WRITE IN FIRST PERSON
People are hiring you, paying attention to you, coming to see you. So they want to here from…YOU. This is the stale old 80’s approach: “Danielle is a former think tank executive and communication strategist, who now works with entrepreneurs to develop their careers.” This is the magnetic/heart approach: “I ran a DC-based think tank for futurists, helped put a few authors on the map, and now work with entrepreneurs to rock their careers.” Who would you rather hire?

Besides, anyone you want to work with is smart enough to know that the third person copy is probably written by…You.

5. TURN THE MUSIC OFF
If you have music that automatically starts playing when people log on to your site – turn it off. It’s annoying. People are working in shared spaces, have their own music playing on i-Pods and radios, and don’t need the interruption. If you simply must have music, at least give users an obvious icon to click it off or adjust the volume.

6. WORK WITH A WRITER FOR A BIT, EVEN IF YOU’RE A GOOD WRITER YOURSELF
Working with a talented copy writer can create quantum leaps for you. They will “interview” you and tease out angles, bio points, and creative notions that you may not have seen yourself. The right writer is an essential creative partner when you’re packaging yourself and/or designing your services. In the past two weeks, I have recommend the following ladies at least four times: Grace Kerina , Lindsey Lewis, Emma Alvarez Gibson.

7. BUILD IN WORD PRESS
I’m religious about Wordpress and refer to designers who are masters of it: Paul at twothirty, and Sarah at S.JoyStudios , and Kate at ThreeSquare Design.

{it bears mentioning: I don’t get/accept kickbacks for any service referrals, ever.}

8. BLOW YOUR HORN
Look, I’m tellin’ you: you are amazing. I don’t care who you are, you’ve got something to give. You are likely an expert in something, a gifted contributor to some form of life or avenue of industry, you’ve probably been around the block a few times and as a result, have much to give. And if you’re a newbie starting out, you sure as hell have passion to burn.

So sell it, baby, sell it. Stand in your place of knowing and contribution and give it. The world needs you.

xo
Danielle

Danielle LaPorte is the founder of www.whitehottruth.com and the lead author of the bestseller, Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design. A former think tank exec, she helps social entrepreneurs rock their careers and creativity with her signature Fire Starter Sessions. A speaker and media personality, Danielle has been featured in Elle, The Huffington Post, Vogue Australia, The National Post and Domino. She co-founded the popular site, www.carrieanddanielle – she left in 2008 to go solo. You can reach her at d(at)daniellelaporte(dot)com