Fear Management vs. Fear Leadership

Fairy Godmother, Danielle LaPorte writes:

The song of an entrepreneur…

Secretly, I’m afraid we won’t raise the money. But it’s okay. I can plow through that fear. We’ll raise the money, and everything will be okay. We’ll raise the money and stand the business up. We’ll have to hit our targets, get the customers in the door, run hard with the marketing plan. Yeah, it’s scary. What if they don’t come? What if they come but don’t buy? What if they buy, but not enough? It’s okay, I can manage that fear. It’ll work. I’ll make it work and everything will be okay. We’ll do this.

What if you don’t do it? What if you, say, “fail”? Does that mean that fear wins? How much do you need to be more than “okay”?

While we’re busy managing fear, fear can be managing us. It’s still creeping in, grabbing at our pant leg, begging to be paid attention to. And fear can always find a reason to get your attention – that’s it’s job – to get you to feed it. But what about the flu? (feed me!) But what about the market? (feed me!) But what about ten years from now? (feed me!) But what will they think? (feed me!)

Beyond coping with fear there is fearlessness. Because, here’s the white hot truth: if you go bankrupt, you’ll still be okay. If you lose the gig, the lover, the house, you’ll still be okay. If you sing off key, get beat by the competition, have to hand in the keys, you will still be okay. Ask anyone who’s been through it. They’re more than okay. People survive and they learn to thrive. It’s life. It’s business.

Don’t manage your fear. Lead your fear. Take charge. When fear climbs on your shoulder and starts nattering in your ear, here’s what you do: You stand as a master. You tell Scaredy Cat where you’re going, risks and all, and you convert Scaredy into a champion to help you get there. You say, lovingly but firmly (because ultimately the Scaredy Cat in you just wants some love and you’ve got plenty of it to give,) “Yep, we may fail, it’s possible. This is risky. But we’ll still be okay. Because that’s who we are. We’re the kind of people that are okay, no matter what. So remember that invincibility and let’s get to work. There’s a new land to discover and the only way to find it is to keep going – cliffs, cash flow, agony, adulation and all. If you keep your mouth shut and your eyes wide open, we’ll get there sooner. We’re doing this. We’re doing this because we want to. Because this is what it means to do life.”

And then watch what Scaredy Cat does. She’ll look perplexed for a minute. She’ll nuzzle up, as if to say thank you. And then she’ll strut down the street to help you recruit some new business.

Danielle is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, a motivational speaker, CBC TV commentator, and lead author of Style Statement. She helps entrepreneurs rock their career with her signature Fire Starter Sessions.You can find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte.

Love Local: An Extra-Special Message for Anyone Trying to Save the World

Hello, my name is Danielle and I’m a recovering Savior of the World. I used to think that my self-worth depended on my vegetarianism, my activism, futurism, my pro-this and anti-that. Had halo, would preach. Had ‘isms, would teach.

I still wrestle with issues of spheres of influence (like one might wrestle a greased boa constrictor while wearing a bikini – with great difficulty), but my circle of devotion has gotten decidedly more focused, or at least more proportioned. My a-ha on this came like a bolt of lighting, at a swanky event, in which I cried an ugly cry that I’ll never forget.

I was at a weekend retreat in the Catsklills for thinkers thinking global-size thoughts. We fancied ourselves as change agents. And we were. The group of us was made up of economists, UN officials, socially responsible CEOs, media personalities, and bonafide spiritual leaders. Conversations were deeply meaningful and our love for our individual and shared causes cohered into a whole lotta serious inspiration. One of the afternoons was allotted for individual silent time and we were encouraged to reflect in solitude and then reconvene.

I spent some of my time in a dilapidated tree house in the woods. I journaled. I laid on the grass and cloud-watched. I thought about my “causes” and how much I poured into saving the world from all the things I thought it needed to be saved from. And my thoughts brought me home. Literally.

A few weeks before, my man and I got engaged. I was deep into thought about what commitment to a life together meant. The enormity of it, the sweetness of it, the terror of it….I thought of all that was required to be poured into it. And something in me cracked open that overcast day: I realized that most of my love was being poured outward, not homeward. It felt more noble to help people in far off countries and in future generations than it did to – simply – love the one I was with and love him well – the way he deserved to be loved.

We reconvened, sat in our fancy chairs in a circle, preparing to discuss our world- enhancing thoughts that had surfaced in our silent solitude. I wasn’t aware of it for a few moments, but I was crying.

(Now, before I go any further with this story, it’s essential that I tell you that I’m not a public crier. I don’t even really like groups. I’ve done too many group workshops and those moments when sister gets up and bawls her eyes out about family of origin stuff or mister breaks down about his mean mother… well, I appreciate it. I feel deep compassion. Sometimes I admire those group-shared collapses. But I don’t do it. My snot-gobbing heaving cries are sacred and best had in my bathtub or day bed. Except on this day, in front of the dignitaries and laureates.)

The facilitator noticed me quietly whimpering. “Danielle, clearly you’re moved. Would you like to share?” People were looking concerned and then I started to feel concerned because I noticed that I was really crying, like, my body was crying for me and there was no stopping it. For some reason, I grabbed the mic and I let ‘er rip: “I, I, I just realized…” I was sobbing now, “I’ve been so fixated on the global, that, that, that… I’ve missed the love in my own home. I’ve, you know… I’ve missed the…the center of my circle.” People nodded. I don’t know if they related or thought I was pathetic. The silence was deafening.

And then I blew my nose and whimpered, “We can move on now.” It was gross. And so we did. We talked about the layers of service and devotion and where we chose to put our energies. It was awkward and then beautiful and then powerful.

Everyone was really uncomfortably nice to me after that. I felt like they’d all seen my underpants, and I wasn’t wearing any.

Am I happy that I slobbered all over my white shirt and blew my cover as a cool cucumber in front of those agents of change? Nope, not really. I’m just not that ego-less and evolved. I could have done without the high-exposure blubber fest. But it happened. And it put the world crises into perspective for me. And I went home. And for probably the first time, I was really home when I got there.

Danielle is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, a motivational speaker, CBC TV commentator, and lead author of Style Statement. She helps entrepreneurs rock their career with her signature Fire Starter Sessions. You can find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte.

Defining What to Stop, What to Start, and What’s Possible for 2010

This month on Startup Princess we’re focusing on PLANNING: How to Plan EVERYTHING, so you’re equipped to Make LOTS of Wishes and Make them Happen in 2010. Watch for lots of posts in our Startup & Grow and Life Balance categories on the subject. Here’s my personal strategy for how I define what to stop, what to start, and what’s possible. Read more

Startup Princess Image & Media Academy – ROCKED. SNOWED. SHINED.

Wow! What a weekend! Many thanks to everyone who attended, taught, and sponsored- APX Alarm, ELF, TIMEX, Russ Dixon Photography and Infusionsoft. Read more

5 Blessings Emerging from Embracing Burnout

You’ve been there before…”burned out”.  Loved ones might warn, “you shouldn’t do so much” or “you should get to bed earlier”, etc. yet no matter what people say, you keep moving forward Read more

Startup Princess Image & Media Academy * UPDATE! Nov. 13-14 *Only $225!

The Startup Princess Image & Media Academy originally scheduled as a 3 day event is now updated to be a 2 day with agenda modifications. The new date is November 13-14th from 1pm on Friday to 5pm on Saturday at the same original location, a beautiful 8700 sq ft Sundance Cabin in Utah. And the great news is that it will be more cost effective for Startup Princesses at just $225 per person.  This price will include professional headshots by sponsor Russ Dixon Photography, Read more

Early Bird Registration Available Now for Startup Princess Image & Media Academy *SAVE* $150!

We are delighted to announce that Early Bird Registration is now available for our upcoming Startup Princess Image & Media Academy Nov 12-14 in Sundance, Utah. By registering early you can save $150 and there’s additional savings if you register with a friend. You don’t want to miss out on this exclusive retreat, at a gorgeous 8700 sq ft luxury cabin with industry experts in Image & Media- Starley Murray, Danielle LaPorte, Summer Bellessa, and Cherie Burton, with discussions on web design by Sarah Bray. If you haven’t already seen our video and downloaded the PDF with the event flyer, agenda and my Pre-Media checklist, go take a look! Just think- three days to work deep on image and media training, concluding with headshots by a top celebrity photographer Russ Dixon. There’s pricing with and without lodging (for locals). All rates include gourmet meals, all trainings, headshots and more.

Startup Princess Image & Media Academy Registration Now Available

The Startup Princess Image & Media Academy in Sundance Utah Nov 12-14th is going to be THE PREMIERE EVENT of Startup Princess.  The crown jewel!  I’ve been giddy with excitement over this event since January and we are thrilled to offer 25 women entrepreneurs the exclusive opportunity to learn from image and media experts. Watch my video and receive my complimentary pre-media checklist. Check out the agenda here: Read more

Save the Date! Startup Princess Image & Media Academy, Sundance November 12-14

Call us crazy. At the moment we’re planning, not just one big event, but TWO. Why? because we’re excited to bring women together for the first-ever Startup Princess Image & Media Academy, a 3 day retreat in beautiful Sundance, Utah!

The date of the retreat will be November 12-14th and will feature four of the world’s leading experts in the industry: Summer Bellessa Editor of Eliza Magazine and International Model, Cherie Burton Image Consultant, Danielle LaPorte, Business Strategist and Lead Author of Style Statement, and Starley Murray, Celebrity Make up Artist and TV Spokeswoman.

The retreat will feature media training, marketing strategy, fashion, make up and hair classes, headshots with a celebrity photographer Russ Dixon, and more. Stay with us at the 8700 sq ft Sundance cabin! It’ll be dreamy, fun, inspirational, and action-packed. Don’t miss it… save the date and plan to join us.

More details to come!

Have You Wondered About Someone’s Dreams?

Our dreams and desires define us. Be they broken, scarcely remembered, on the verge of reality, or in full bloom. They pilot our choices. Dreams have the power to shape Read more

Next Page »