It’s amazing the life lessons that are connected to our projects. I’m not so great at giving my opinion with love, or so I’m told. Often when I share my opinion it comes off as “truth” rather than my opinion so you can imagine it’s a trait that doesn’t work well in close relationships. I’m aware of this weakness and have been seeking for ways to improve, but it wasn’t until my friend gave me her opinion with love last week that I truly got the picture. I’ll explain…
Last Summer I decided to heed a year-long prompting to write a book on Faith & Entrepreneurship. I was motivated to finish it quickly and gave myself a very tight (and foolish) deadline of 30 days to get a eBook version completed. I was confident that I could do it and yes, I hammered out some chapters but it wasn’t my best work. Since I didn’t really know what to do with it, I just put it aside for a month. Then my dear friend Lori, a former professional Journalist randomly emailed me and offered to read the draft. I was embarrassed to send it to her but I did, figuring at least I’d know her thoughts. After she read it she invited me to chat over Skype about it.
While I remain committed to the project, I’m not committed to the draft that I wrote over the Summer, but Lori didn’t know that when we started our conversation over Skype last week. She started off reconnecting to me personally and then asked me questions about my goals for the project, what my overall objectives would be, and allowed me to share my ideas. As she kindly asked me questions about the project I was able to see her opinion without her even offering it. It was very interesting to experience. She asked me questions about my theories, my ideas, etc. She shared her insights. She gave me some direction of where and how I could dig deeper.
We talked at length about the project and I felt very supported and loved through the whole conversation. She expressed interest in continuing to support me and offered some great suggestions. She enrolled herself into a willing mentor instead of a critic. It was beautiful and brought us closer as dear friends.
At the end of the conversation she emphasized that I shouldn’t be discouraged, that she felt the project was worthwhile and held value but I needed more time to develop it. I felt as though she was protecting, helping, and nurturing me so that when I do publish the piece it’s really pure, really authentic and 100% awesome.
Now I’m more excited to return to the project and honestly I don’t care that I spent time on pages I’m going to likely toss. I’m remembering that it’s the process not just the finished result that shapes us. And in the end it’s not a race to complete the book, the point is to share it when it’s right. I’m so grateful to have Lori on my team and I hope I can continue not only to learn about writing from Lori but how to be a great listener, to offer my opinions with more love and compassion and so when I’m on someone else’s “team” they too feel supported and cherished in a constructive way.
Lesson Learned? Be open to the lessons that may not necessarily directly related to your projects, but perhaps life lessons that are a massive gift…and thankfully business is one of the very best ways to polish those rough edges.
-Kelly King Anderson, Startup Princess Founder and Managing Director
