Everyone knows someone who is hurting. This person might even be you… if so, my heart goes out to you and the many others who are struggling with challenging life circumstances. And many of you are not only dealing with your own pain, but are also raising a family and running a startup!!! I get how very hard this must be for you.
I am not a therapist but I love to help others succeed and am passionate about supporting our community. There are many who are seeking help and it is my hope that a few of the following ideas and insights will give you strength and healing. I have had my share of financial, health, and family challenges so I feel that I can relate to the pain and experiences that many of you may be facing right now. I remember days when I couldn’t afford gas, diapers, or food. I remember days when taking a shower was an accomplishment. I remember days when I felt so very alone and scared about what our future would be. Life has now shifted and we are in a good place, but those times were not that long ago and I remember what helped me through them and I want to share them with you. These are things that I do often and when I have a hard day I go back to this list and make sure I’m trying to do them.
First of all, you need a friend. Everyone needs a real friend, and if you don’t have one, seek for and pray for someone to show up in your life who you can talk to and share your struggles with who will be uplifting and supportive. This friend should be in a stable life situation, so they can be a mentor and offer good feedback. Ideally this is someone who you could call on a weekly basis or even text on a daily basis when things are very dark and hard. When identifying who your ‘friend’ is make sure they are willing to be this person in your life right now, you might need to be clear that you need to be the receiver of their friendship for a time but that you will try to also be available for them as they need you.
Self-nuturing, rest and good nutrition are very key for thinking more clearly and for managing the overwhelming circumstances. Be peaceful about decreasing your work load and increasing your rest. Take time to eat well and if you can’t manage it, ask for others to help make sure you’re eating healthy (avoid fast food, processed, refined, and canned food). Increase your water! Learn to love naps, 15 minutes can make a huge difference!
Create routines that give you some consistency. Just as children thrive with routines, so can we. The goal is to find routines that will help cheer you up when you’re having a hard week. Think of what will get you out of bed, get you moving, connecting with others and help you smile more often. Give yourself permission to create something you want to do for yourself. Consider one of the following… reading for 15 min each night before bed, weekly library day, walk to the park after dinner with your family once a week, enroll in a class you’ve always wanted to take, schedule a monthly massage, or whatever else you feel YOU want to do for YOU.
Try a Pains/Gains worksheet- This is excellent free therapy! Take a piece of paper and fold it vertically and on the left side write ‘PAINS’ and on the right write ‘GAINS’. Simply write down EVERY single pain you have on the left column, anything that is bothering you in any degree physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Write until you can’t think of another thing, take a break, reread it and add anything else. Then on the right side under ‘GAINS’ write down one thing per item that you can benefit from this particular pain. For example, if the pain is ‘headaches’ the gain can be ‘chance to rest more often’. While the headache isn’t great to deal with, the rest does have some benefit, forcing you to slow down and take time for healing.
Uplifting music can be an excellent mood booster. I memorized the lyrics of many songs that give me emotional and spiritual strength. I remember many times singing out loud the words of inspiring songs while I went on walks, showered, or drove my car. This very powerful, don’t underestimate the high vibration and energy music can offer you.
Mantras offer support when our spirits are low and we are feeling negative and or when we want to shift into a higher thought process and create something better for ourselves. Mantras or affirmations should be short and easy to memorize and repeat. For years I’ve used a very simple one when running or working out, “I am strong, I am fit, I am free, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” or I just shorten it to “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”. Regardless of where you find inspiration and help, find what works for you, write it down and etch it into your heart and mind and whenever you have a moment when you’re feeling sad or need encouragement, turn to it. Reading anything uplifting can help when done repeatedly and when you see examples of people using faith and humility to overcome challenges.
Journaling is an effective form of release that is under used by busy women! Keep a small journal in your bag and another by your bedside to write down thoughts or feelings, express yourself freely and without restraint… burn it if necessary! Get out those feelings of pain and overwhelm. Write down all the things you’re grateful for often, make a list of 100 things and add to it daily.
Aromatherapy is a personal favorite for managing emotions. Are you aware of the power of smell? Do you have a diffuser? if not, get one here. I am a distributor and use the doTERRA essential oils brand. They are so powerful because they are better than organic (tested 3rd party, every liter) you can take them internally, topically, or use them in a diffuser. Excellent oils for emotional support are Citrus Bliss, Balance, Elevation, and Serenity. I use them over my heart and mind, put them in my bath water too. If you want to know more about these and how they work feel free to text me at 801-856-4765.
Remember that Touch is one of the most healing gifts we have been given. Give hugs, receive them, snuggle up with a child or loved one, get a massage, give one!
Connect to Nature! Whenever I go for a walk or look at our amazing mountains I’m uplifted and feel encouraged… the more time I’m off technology and into nature I’m feeling better about myself and the life that is mine to live.
Praying isn’t just for the church going types, its for everyone who believes in a higher being, in a Creator. Have you ever reached out and gave thanks for your life and blessings? Ever asked questions? Even if you’re new to prayer or its been a long time since you’ve prayed, I highly recommend you give it a try. There are many ways to pray, find what works for you. I believe in God the Father and in His son, Jesus Christ so this is how I do it: I start by saying, “Heavenly Father, Thank thee for….. I ask thee for …….. in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. Then I wait and pause to listen to what I feel and any ideas or inspiration that comes to the questions or concerns I discussed and I write them down. I believe that when you take time to write down the inspiration you receive and then act on those things then your relationship with God and Christ increases. I especially recommend praying out loud and when possible in nature, it’s amazing. I love to pray because I feel connected, supported, and comforted.
Lastly, do you have a Vision Board or a Bucket List? If not, make one today! Dream, dream, dream, then put that dream into action little by little.
Keep the faith and hope alive that your challenges are temporary. Ask, ‘What am I supposed to learn from this so I can move forward?’ Listen, pay attention so the lesson can be complete.
Consider- How do you want to react to your situation? I invite you to do it with gratitude, love and peace. Choose to live daily with faith and I promise you that with a cheerful outlook life will improve every moment.
I hope you try some of these ideas and that they help you to feel more peace and more joy in your current situation and beyond, I feel honored to share them with you.
What ideas do you have to add? What helps you? We would love to hear from you!
This post was written by Kelly King Anderson, the Founder of Startup Princess.