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Becoming Sincerely Happy for Someone Else

Have you ever competed for something you really wanted to win? Over the years I’ve competed for many things when there was a clear “winner” such as business plan competitions, elections, sports, media opportunities,auditions and most recently Mrs. Utah when I was 1st runner up. (In case you missed it, I wrote about it here and here and here.) What about in business? Have you ever really wanted to develop a product but someone else got to it before you did? Maybe they had the funding in place before you did? Or maybe they were at a different season of life and could give their business more focus than you? How did you react? When did you “get over it”? or Have you? Have you ever made a complete transformation and become sincerely happy for someone else’s dream?

I can honestly say it’s not easy to do, particularly when you’ve put your whole heart into it for an extended period of time. When I planned and prepared to launch Princess Sweet, I came up with the concept in November 2004 before EVER hearing of a Club Libby Lu or any other such party store for girls. I was nervous just thinking about the idea because it was such a huge concept. I took it to national competitions and won 2nd place (because my concept WAS innovative then). I thought money would roll in from investors. I was convinced it was meant to be. But then I got pregnant with my 3rd baby and was sick for 9 months, didn’t do anything and lost the window of opportunity, by the time I was “ready” to move forward other stores were popping up all over the country. I was sick about it, but still none in my home state, so I did a kiosk at the mall for December 2006 and fulfilled my “wish” but by the end I HATED the demands of retail and realized I had been saved by the grace of God from a potential mistake. Fastforward falling in love with blogging here at Startup Princess…never would have dreamed I’d want to mentor women entrepreneurs, unless I’d had my own dreams first…fastforward to 2008 and a princess party store opened in my hometown with deep pockets…jealousy? Only for about 10 seconds until I remembered my joys at working from home, my joys with Startup Princess… I actually gave the owner, Susan a huge hug when I met her and thanked her for having the ability to create her dream (and mine) so my daughters and I could come enjoy a tea party.

On a personal note, I’m thinking about this topic because I finally had a breakthrough regarding being 1st Runner Up in the Mrs Utah competition 2 weeks ago. When I “lost” I felt peace and continued to feel peace but happiness that I lost? No. I had emotions of disappointment and even sadness several days later then feelings of peace returned but last weekend peace progressed to feelings of happiness, even excitement for Emily Nelson, Mrs. Utah United States 2008 and the opportunities ahead of her. Check out her beautiful ad page for the national pageant. I adored Emily from the get-go, in fact she’s the one I bonded with the most in the pageant, so this wasn’t about “loving” her, it was about being happy for her from the bottom of my heart and not coveting her title or opportunity–because even though we became friends, we were competing for the same dream. I felt conflicted about being happy for her when I lost… then finally things shifted this weekend and I am decidedly her #1 fan and will support her as much as possible. She’s dived into her role with grace and enthusiasm and already set up a non-profit organization, Project Lemonade which will serve disadvantaged children of parents who have gone/who are in prison, an incredibly worthy and important cause!

How does transformation happen for becoming sincerely happy for someone else’s dream?

1. Time. It is definitely true that time heals… of course it’s not expected to lose a championship game and have the losing team hug the winning team with joy, but in time the losing team might develop maturity and recognize that the winning team “needed it” more than they did (this was the experience of Carol Tuttle’s son shared on her Art of Manifesting CD). In my cases when I’ve “lost” time helped me distance myself from the disappointment so I could think more clearly about it.

2. Asking for understanding in my prayers. Heather Madder says, “When we present ourselves as a willing student, God never turns His back.” This has been my experience as well. James 1:5 from the Bible reads, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” I lean on this scripture a lot during times if despair or disappointment, or when I want enlightenment of any kind. Perspective helps!

3. Trusting God. Honestly without my faith I would not know what to do in hard circumstances! Whenever I put my trust in Him that things will work out well, I am at peace even when I’m hurting or when it doesn’t make sense. A couple of years ago a deal fell through for my husband that would have been a miracle for our family saving us from a serious financial crisis; we had prayed and worked hard for it to work but at the very last second it was not to be and the deal didn’t work, we were devastated!! I remember praying and asking God to “make it happen” with more faith than I had ever requested anything before, but it was not His will. In time we recovered financially through other opportunities and smaller deals and we understand more about the “whys” for losing the “big one.” We became more bonded as a couple in 2005-2006 than we would have otherwise and became truly aware that God does provide for us when we lean on Him.

When have you been sincerely happy for someone else and how did you do it?? Has your faith helped you with disappointments and loses? How? Should we always be happy for someone else? If not, why?

This post was written by Kelly King Anderson, Founder of Startup Princess.

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6 Responses to “Becoming Sincerely Happy for Someone Else”

  1. Nancy Cadjan on June 10th, 2008 9:08 am

    I can relate and I can answer a question you asked. My business creates materials for signing with young children. My roommate from college also got into the same field completely separate of me. Her business has done leaps and bounds better than mine. Sometimes people ask me if I am disappointed. I have realized that I am not because I do not have the situation she has to make it happen for her. My business is very good and is at the size I need it to be. It allows me to work on my schedule and not be tied to someone else’s demands.

    I spend a lot of time trying to balance my life and figure out how to be both a mom and a businesswoman. I pray a lot to have balance. I usually pray to be a good mom first and ask God to help me work strategically in my business so I can use the least amount of time to accomplish the most work.

    I am at peace that this is my life now. It may not always be this way, but I will enjoy my kids while I can. They grow and will soon not want to sit in my lap. I want to be with them as much as I can now.

    I am happy for my roommate and her success. She and I have been able to do some work together and her success has helped me in some ways. Someday, I wil be at the top of whatever I am doing. Until then, I will enjoy where I am!

  2. Debbie on June 10th, 2008 2:22 pm

    It is a definite art to “be happy” when something you wanted is not granted to you. I remember a time early in my business when I saw a competitor’s product featured in a national magazine and the word “pint-sized” was used to describe their product. I was upset as “pint sized” is a part of my slogan. I recall talking to my fairy GodMother Heather Ledeboer about it. And of course her wisdom provided me with the clarity about the situation.

    I realized that it was this person’s time for the spotlight and that is okay! And that she was paving the way in gaining awareness of the baby jewelery market and I was proud of her because in a way the feature was helping my business as well. And I wanted to aspire to that.

    For me my issue was pride. And I realized that I did not need to get frustrated about it. And instead use that energy in a positive way to benefit my character and my business. I remember getting down on my knees and praying for the wisdom and understanding to allow this situation (as trivial as it may sound to some of you) to teach me.

    So, I was determined to work harder in so many ways to make my business stronger and let God guide my path. For it is only through Him that all things are possible. I strongly believe that. I just knew in time my hard work would be recognized if I would continue to work hard and remain humble and malleable so that those little “miracles” would happen. And guess what it did!

    Heather Ledeober submitted my Cambodian Jingle Bells Anklet to Pregnancy Magazine. Long story short, my jewelry piece is in the current issue of Preg’s Beauty & Style Guide! Yahoo!! Sharing the spotlight with big dogs such as Fuzzi Bunz Diapers, Baby Legs, and Trumpette Socks! Miracles do happen and honestly for me was to let go and be happy for others and to allow all experiences (especially the negative ones) teach me those sweet life lessons.

  3. Jamie Bird on June 10th, 2008 10:06 pm

    Well, I find it is always easier to be sincerely happy for others when a) they are not competitors and b) they are nice people in the first place. I have had a hard time professionally and personally being happy for people who do not fit into these two categories, yet I think that is what God has called us to do. Being happy for friends is easy!

    I agree with Debbie- for me it is pride. It is so hard to see someone else getting what you want and feel you deserve. It can be downright frustrating! At the end of the day, though, I know it is my faith that gets me through the dissapointment and gain perspective. God knows what I need, and it always happens at the exact perfect time. Had you told me two years ago this is where I would be, I never would have believed it. Sometimes I have to take a step back from the day to day to realize how greatly blessed I am.

  4. Jenni on June 15th, 2008 5:28 am

    Wow. It seems everytime I open a new spot to read on your blog I am more enlightened. I can’t thank you enough for your words. I love words, love to write, and the words you wrote and the comments here are helping to bring some peace to my battle with that ugly word pride. I also appreciate that you are not afraid to share in your faith. That is a beautiful thing. Have a lovely Sunday afternoon.

  5. utah paving contractor on July 14th, 2011 12:33 am

    Yes! you can become happy for someone else because that person mean a lot for you. This post gives extra tip on how you can be sincerely happy for someone else’s dream in which is a big help in developing human behavior.

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